Now You Know: Tears and Fears

The call has come. The diagnosis is in. You have breast cancer. If you’re like most of
us, your first reaction is shock. Shock that without warning, your life has gone out of
control. Shock that even though you feel fine, nothing hurts, and you have no fever,
you have a life-threatening disease. Shock that you know someone who died of breast
cancer and now you have it, too. Shock that your family will be dramatically affected
by what’s happening to you. Shock that you don’t really have a clue about what’s
going to happen to you next. Shock that now you’re that “one in eight.” Shock that
turns to fear.
Okay, hit it. Bawl your eyes out. It’s good release. It’s okay, too, if you and your hus-
band or partner cry together. But at some point you have to toss the tissues and get
on with the next steps. The first step is to stop immediately the use of any kind of
estrogen—estrogen replacement therapy (like Premerin) if you’re in menopause or es-
trogen creams for vaginal dryness. Your doctor will probably tell you, but if not, ask
immediately. Depending on the kind of cancer you have, the estrogen may be feeding
its growth.
Next, you have real fears that need to be addressed. The bottom line for every woman
with breast cancer is almost always, “Am I going to die?” Well, everybody dies sooner
or later, but most likely you aren’t going to die from breast cancer. But you will likely
have surgery, or even more than one surgery. And you may have other treatments to
save your life. It’s time to go to battle. Bring out the troops.
If you’re new to the club, know that we would like to be with you right now to dry
your tears and give you hugs. Having been in your shoes, we know that no one other
than another survivor can understand what you’re going through. Hundreds of thou-
sands of women have been through this. You can do it! Just keep reminding yourself
that whatever battles you must go through to conquer this disease—the surgery, the
treatments—it’s all temporary. It’s. All. Temporary. Life goes on. You’ll come out the
other side a different person, but life goes on. And we’re here for you. So consider
yourself hugged.