Things Are Going to Be Different

Different? Well, that is certainly an understatement about what a cancer diagnosis
does to our lives! You’ve just been thrown into a card game that you really don’t want
to play. Although you can’t choose the cards you’re dealt, you can choose how to play
them.
When it comes to letting the people you love know of your new situation, you also
have lots of choices. You can choose whom to tell, when to tell them, and how much
you want to reveal at any given time. It’s important to remember, always, that you’re
in control of your half of the relationship equation.
At the same time, the one thing you can’t control is another person’s feelings or
reactions—and you’ll no doubt be surprised by some of them. You might find that
a few of your friends will actually compete for the “most
favored position” and want to be the one you reveal all
of your confidences to; others will simply walk away.
Still others might withdraw at first, but then quietly be-
come your strongest supporters. For better or worse,
navigating through the relationship waters will be an-
other challenge for you!
No doubt there will be changes in your normal daily
routine, and your family and friends may feel threat-
ened because of these changes. You yourself will change,
too—perhaps physically, certainly emotionally—and
your loved ones might not know how to react to those
changes either. In fact, they may wonder if you’re really
the same person inside. You may wonder that, too.
Indeed, things will never be quite the same again. That
doesn’t mean things will be worse, or better, but they
will be different. And they’ll start to change as soon as
you choose to tell the people around you what you’ve
learned about your medical condition.